Thoughts on throwing a non-wedding

If you read online about this sort of event, people are downright nasty about newlyweds having a ceremony/reception after their official wedding day (ie, the day they were legally married). 

They say it’s only ok if you call it a vow renewal, and no way can you have attendants, or wear a wedding dress. And then they go on to say that even a vow renewal is tacky, and what are you saying, that one of you broke your vows and need to renew them? Or are you just gift grabbing? Or are you sad that you are no longer a bride and want to pretend and play dress up? And why aren’t you waiting until a milestone anniversary to do this? 

This sort of stuff is all over wedding forums online. Originally, it made me think “no way could we ever do that.” And it’s not because I share these sentiments, it’s because I would be horrified if someone thought them about me. I’m still worried people will think of me as a gift grabbing, attention whoring, pretend bride. (This post on Offbeat Bride made me feel better, but I’m a worrier by nature.)

So when Mike and I set out on planning this, I knew we had to avoid this stereotype. I didn’t want to be that couple. 

So when it comes to our event, our "vow renewal", or "marriage blessing", or as I like to call it, "Ceremony of Love", we're not doing the norm. We're doing what we want, naysayers be damned. And we hope the folks who come enjoy it! That's sort of the point.

Memories

Check out these pictures I found on my laptop while avoiding doing grown up things like cleaning the house.

This is the only picture I have of Mike and I from high school. 

That's kind of sad, considering we were friends for 3 of the 4 years.

Mike and my BFF Cara.

Mike, Cara and brother-in-law Christopher.

These were from a ridiculous history project we did once, where we planned a faux trip to Venezuela, but while there had a rendezvous with a drug lord (Christopher). I believe the project was supposed to be cultural and educational. I think we missed the point...

Back in the wedding groove

I’m back, back in the wedding groove….

With less than 10 months to go before our May 4^th wedding/vow renewal/kickass party for all our family and friends celebrating our love and marriage, I think it wise to get back in the planning process, you know?

The good news is, in the grand scheme of things, there isn’t a whole lot of things that need doing.

Our venue is chosen (Venue visit). Our officiant is chosen (Wedding party, and other important people). A lot of the look and feel decisions have been made, decoration-wise (Green with... love?). Our wardrobe will be the same as our B&B Wedding (A Bed & Breakfast Wedding).

The biggest things that need doing are to research and choose our caterer and entertainment. And implement the decoration plan, via crafty projects.

And I am PUMPED to get back into planning mode. And blogging mode. And of course, "oh-em-gee-I'm-going-to-be-a-bride-again" mode! Only instead of a bride, I'll be a wife who gets to marry her husband all over again, in front of her best friends and family!

A Bed & Breakfast Wedding

For a comprehensive cover of our wedding, see our photographer Chad's Photo Blog.

But here are a couple he didn't include!

 Our officiant barely said "We are gathered here today" and I realized 

I had forgotten my bouquet! Is my mom pointing and laughing?!?

 I like the tall-ness of this one.

Chad included this one, but it's my favorite so here it is again.

 

I loved our wedding so much!

Getting Weddinged

Back when we were figuring out what we were doing about our wedding, so many thoughts were going through my mind.

It seemed fairly obvious to me what we should do. Without question, having our parents witness our marriage was important. And, we couldn’t throw together a proper wedding including everyone important to us, for time and monetary reasons.

But- we knew our family and friends were disappointed. They understood why we were changing our plans, but they were still sad. We were too.

this lolcat understands

Being fairly active on popular wedding website boards, I knew that lots of people have a small civil ceremony or elopement, then plan a reception/party for later. Some people wait years, some people wait weeks. Some people include a vow renewal, since many of their loved ones weren’t there to see the original vows.

I liked the party idea for our original 2013 date. But I thought the vow renewal would be lame. After all – isn’t that for things like 10+ year anniversaries? I mean, at that point we’ll have only been married a little over a year.

But then I thought – well, maybe it seems lame to me, because I was there when I said my vows. But you know who wasn’t? Almost everyone important to me. Heck, one of my sisters has never even met my brand new husband!

Then I found this article on offbeatbride.com, and it made up my mind: On Vow Renewals and Getting Weddinged

So yes, next year we are having a vow renewal/party to celebrate our first year of marriage, and to incorporate the friends and family that missed our wedding.

(On a side note – this was never a question to Mike. He’s been saying all along he wanted to do this, so I don’t know why I put so much anxiety into it. I should have just listened to him.)

So for now, this blog shall live on, but instead of planning a wedding, it will be about planning a vow renewal! And maybe some newlywed bliss type stuff. Now to think of a more appropriate blog name…