Save the date

Here’s a wedding tradition I didn’t hesitate to include for our Ceremony of Love: Save the Dates. The biggest reason being that I personally like to have advanced notice for these kind of events. I don’t want to send an invitation 2 months before and hope people didn’t make vacation plans already. Plus, they are so dang cute!

Before we were married, and I was playing with save the dates for our 2013 wedding, I fell in love with a site called WeddingChicks.com. They have all of these free printable save the dates, invitations and more. Notice the word free? That’s what I loved the most. Of course, I had no intention of actually printing these things myself, but with sites like vistaprint and zazzle, the cost would be much cheaper than using a vendor.

With the WeddingChicks printables, usually you just plug in your names, your date and voila, save the date! 

      Never having watched the show Mad Men, I thought this was so clever.

(Still cute, especially for fans of the show) 

I really like the conversational style of this save the date. 

 

 

Then we got married, and took the easy out of it. Because now we aren’t sending save the dates for a wedding, but for a Ceremony of Love.

So I started messing with all of the Save the Dates I found to make them Ceremony of Love friendly. One of my first, and favorites, was a re-make of the above:

cute, right?

I got the "Weddinged" idea from the Offbeat Bride article I linked in my last post (On Vow Renewals and Getting Weddinged).

But, my pretend-bride-phobia came out, and I decided maybe someone would be offended by it. It’s still one of my favorites, though!

Then I found this save the date bookmark, complete with an adorable bunting: 

Buntings are all the rage. 

I was going down this path pretty seriously for a couple of weeks. I especially liked the idea of Save the Date image + simple wording. No "We're getting married!" or "Save the Date for our wedding" to confuse matters. But, I ended up abandoning this save the date due to the bookmark shape. That is NOT an easy shape to send via mail.

So where did I end up? The grand reveal will be after I send said Save the Dates, so as to not ruin the surprise for guests!

Thoughts on throwing a non-wedding

If you read online about this sort of event, people are downright nasty about newlyweds having a ceremony/reception after their official wedding day (ie, the day they were legally married). 

They say it’s only ok if you call it a vow renewal, and no way can you have attendants, or wear a wedding dress. And then they go on to say that even a vow renewal is tacky, and what are you saying, that one of you broke your vows and need to renew them? Or are you just gift grabbing? Or are you sad that you are no longer a bride and want to pretend and play dress up? And why aren’t you waiting until a milestone anniversary to do this? 

This sort of stuff is all over wedding forums online. Originally, it made me think “no way could we ever do that.” And it’s not because I share these sentiments, it’s because I would be horrified if someone thought them about me. I’m still worried people will think of me as a gift grabbing, attention whoring, pretend bride. (This post on Offbeat Bride made me feel better, but I’m a worrier by nature.)

So when Mike and I set out on planning this, I knew we had to avoid this stereotype. I didn’t want to be that couple. 

So when it comes to our event, our "vow renewal", or "marriage blessing", or as I like to call it, "Ceremony of Love", we're not doing the norm. We're doing what we want, naysayers be damned. And we hope the folks who come enjoy it! That's sort of the point.

Memories

Check out these pictures I found on my laptop while avoiding doing grown up things like cleaning the house.

This is the only picture I have of Mike and I from high school. 

That's kind of sad, considering we were friends for 3 of the 4 years.

Mike and my BFF Cara.

Mike, Cara and brother-in-law Christopher.

These were from a ridiculous history project we did once, where we planned a faux trip to Venezuela, but while there had a rendezvous with a drug lord (Christopher). I believe the project was supposed to be cultural and educational. I think we missed the point...

Back in the wedding groove

I’m back, back in the wedding groove….

With less than 10 months to go before our May 4^th wedding/vow renewal/kickass party for all our family and friends celebrating our love and marriage, I think it wise to get back in the planning process, you know?

The good news is, in the grand scheme of things, there isn’t a whole lot of things that need doing.

Our venue is chosen (Venue visit). Our officiant is chosen (Wedding party, and other important people). A lot of the look and feel decisions have been made, decoration-wise (Green with... love?). Our wardrobe will be the same as our B&B Wedding (A Bed & Breakfast Wedding).

The biggest things that need doing are to research and choose our caterer and entertainment. And implement the decoration plan, via crafty projects.

And I am PUMPED to get back into planning mode. And blogging mode. And of course, "oh-em-gee-I'm-going-to-be-a-bride-again" mode! Only instead of a bride, I'll be a wife who gets to marry her husband all over again, in front of her best friends and family!

A Bed & Breakfast Wedding

For a comprehensive cover of our wedding, see our photographer Chad's Photo Blog.

But here are a couple he didn't include!

 Our officiant barely said "We are gathered here today" and I realized 

I had forgotten my bouquet! Is my mom pointing and laughing?!?

 I like the tall-ness of this one.

Chad included this one, but it's my favorite so here it is again.

 

I loved our wedding so much!

Getting Weddinged

Back when we were figuring out what we were doing about our wedding, so many thoughts were going through my mind.

It seemed fairly obvious to me what we should do. Without question, having our parents witness our marriage was important. And, we couldn’t throw together a proper wedding including everyone important to us, for time and monetary reasons.

But- we knew our family and friends were disappointed. They understood why we were changing our plans, but they were still sad. We were too.

this lolcat understands

Being fairly active on popular wedding website boards, I knew that lots of people have a small civil ceremony or elopement, then plan a reception/party for later. Some people wait years, some people wait weeks. Some people include a vow renewal, since many of their loved ones weren’t there to see the original vows.

I liked the party idea for our original 2013 date. But I thought the vow renewal would be lame. After all – isn’t that for things like 10+ year anniversaries? I mean, at that point we’ll have only been married a little over a year.

But then I thought – well, maybe it seems lame to me, because I was there when I said my vows. But you know who wasn’t? Almost everyone important to me. Heck, one of my sisters has never even met my brand new husband!

Then I found this article on offbeatbride.com, and it made up my mind: On Vow Renewals and Getting Weddinged

So yes, next year we are having a vow renewal/party to celebrate our first year of marriage, and to incorporate the friends and family that missed our wedding.

(On a side note – this was never a question to Mike. He’s been saying all along he wanted to do this, so I don’t know why I put so much anxiety into it. I should have just listened to him.)

So for now, this blog shall live on, but instead of planning a wedding, it will be about planning a vow renewal! And maybe some newlywed bliss type stuff. Now to think of a more appropriate blog name…

Surprise!

You need a plan ... but don't become consumed by it. Winds change.
--Joseph Ehrhard

Boy did these winds change!

If you've been following along, you know that Mike and I have been planning our wedding for April of 2013.

And if you know me, you probably know that my dad has brain cancer.  He's been diagnosed for nearly 2 years, and has his ups and downs. During the beginning stages of wedding planning, he was up. He's been doing quite well, actually. Then about a month ago, he had a brief down. Nothing terribly bad, but enough to make us think "Whoa, wait. We're waiting HOW long to have this wedding?"

Because, as well as he's been doing, can anyone predict the future? It's impossible to do so when a person is in perfect health, but especially difficult when you factor in a stage 4 brain tumor.

And we thought - what if something happens between now and then? We would regret it SO much if we waited until 2013 and he wasn't there.

So... we got married. A week ago. In an old-fashioned, spur-of-the-month kind of way.

Here's a sneak peak! Professional pics to follow.

We were cracking up pretty bad. You had to be there.

I don't want THAT kind of bachelorette party...

Considering there's 475 days until our wedding (see the new countdown on the right??), we have quite a bit done. We have the venue and photographer booked, and we've asked our officiant to marry us. While we have a ton more to do (caterer, cake, rentals, attire, decorations), I think we're in a good place considering how far out we are. So good that I should probably stop wedding planning for a few months. While I have been cutting back on wedding related things, I couldn't resist going to The Greater Virginia Bridal Show with my BFF, and would be MOH, Cara.

These bridal shows are kind of ridiculous (if these generalizations can be made for all bridal shows). They are crowded and stuffy. There is food and cake everywhere (can't wait for THAT conversation with Carlos). People in wedding dresses are walking around.  Saleswomen assault you with toys and lotions for "those kind of bachelorette parties". You see at least 4 girls you knew in high school, and awkwardly avoid them. It was an experience!

I really didn't expect to find any vendors, especially given the point we are at in our planning. I did end up with some cards I will refer back to when the time is right, and I definitely enjoyed hanging out with Cara, so ultimately I'm really glad we went.

PLUS I got this really snazzy bracelet!

 

I am definitely wearing this at every wedding related appointment going forward.